How to change a baby boy’s diaper

The process you think might be pretty simple. But, let’s be real here. Not every diaper change is a breeze. (But you better hope there’s a breeze to keep the smell away)

1. Be vigilant and pay attention for “the smell”

2. Check for “the line” (the amazing technology of the blue line)

3. Check the back end…

4. CAUTION: In case of blow out… be careful of stray streaks, road marks, and liquids… It might get on your hands… Let me rephrase. It will get on your hands.

5. Behold the power and wonder that is anti-gravity debris

6. Find a secure location, table, cushion, floor, truck bed, husband’s lap

7. Lay out your changing mat

8. (WARNING: YOU HAVE NOW ENTERED THE WAR ZONE) Un-do the onesie buttons near the baby booty

9. Dodge incoming kicks

10. Pull up your own shirt over your nose

11. Breathe in deeply and hold

12. Pull back straps on diaper

13. Pull down the front of the diaper

14. Behold the gloriousness that is being a parent

15. Observe the beautiful creation that your child constructed

16. Pull out your handy dandy wipes and clean the skin gently

17. Place wipes in the old diaper and pull out from under the baby

18. Dodge incoming pee fountain

19. Freak out a bit

20. Observe that pee is now all over you

21. Listen to your son’s laugh as he mocks you for being too slow

22. Pull out a new wipe and re-clean the newly messy area

23. Let go of your pride

24. Place new diaper under your child

25. Apply any creams or powders to maintain that “smooth as a baby’s bottom” booty that we all love

26. Pull up the front of the diaper and fasten the straps

27. Re-button the onesie

28. Throw away diaper in Oder Defying receptacle (if unavailable, pray for forgiveness from future pedestrians of the nearest trashcan)

29. Pack up belongings (dry them from pee as necessary)

30. Walk back to your party, wedding, dinner, fundraiser, or activities with your head held high repeat steps 1-28 in about 1 hour and 17 minutes

Welcome to parenthood!

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Author: Andrew McFarlane

Andrew McFarlane is a full-time dad and a parenting blogger. He shares advice for new parents, experienced parents, and any parent in-between at PapaPerspective.com. He does this through positive parenting methods, the best parenting gear, and lots of laughter. When he's not blogging about the best parenting practices, he'll be out taking photos, playing hockey, or spending time with his wife and 2 boys.